Poll Results: Living Will

1: If I become irreparably comatose, unplug me. [3 votes]
2: If I become irreparably comatose, dress me up and rent me out for parties. [2 votes]
3: If I become a fan of country music, repossess my truck. [1 votes]
4: If I am taken hostage by Dennis Hopper, shoot me in the leg. [0 votes]
5: If I am taken hostage by sexy ninjas, save yourself and leave me to my fate. [20 votes]
6: If I discover time travel, tell grandma I love her. [2 votes]
7: Regardless of how or why I die, make someone pay. [6 votes]
8: If I claw my way out of my grave and come for your brain, the shotgun's in the hall closet. [6 votes]
9: If I reach level 50 in more than one MMORPG, unplug me. [1 votes]
10: If I drown in something carbonated, do not revive me. [2 votes]
11: If I laugh at a Rob Schneider movie, the shotgun's in the hall closet. [10 votes]
12: If I'm just going to die anyway, I want to be a crash test dummy. [4 votes]

The sexy ninjas won, who saw that coming? Nobody--they're ninjas.

Second place had only half the votes of first place, which is kind of cool because we haven't had a lead that strong in a long time. Apparently your love of sexy ninjas outweighs your hatred of Rob Schneider, though I'm willing to bet that if the sexy ninjas were big Rob Schneider fans you'd be a lot more reticent to stay with them. After all, it doesn't say what they'll do with you, only that they're sexy. You're so shallow.

Other points of note: you are three times as likely to want to be unplugged from a coma than from a MMORPG, and really I can't blame you, but you are 50% less likely to want to be rented out for parties. Did I mention that they are sushi parties, and rich businessmen will be eating artfully arranged fish off of your naked, comatose abdomen? I bet that changes things.

As a final note, this poll contained the sickest joke we've ever told in a poll, despite my recent avoidance of sexual innuendo. Thank goodness so few of you voted for it.

Written by Fellfrosch on April 19th, 2005