Paranoia XP: Crash Priority

Overall score:

I had never played Paranoia before the release of its latest XP version. Indeed, it was far, far before my time--I grew up having heard of Dungeons & Dragons as a cool, better version of the Advanced Fighting Fantasy I liked to play, but having no commercial RPGs in the town I lived in, knew little else about it, content to design my own new homebrew system and setting every three weeks to play during maths. You could get away with rolling dice in maths.

Despite this, I ended up eagerly awaiting Paranoia XP, and bought it on the day of release. Well, actually, I waited two weeks for the other store to get it, since it was twenty dollars more in the first store that had it. Several months after getting it, and a few games later, Paranoia has become something I grok. Something that is an inexplicable part of me. I don’t use metaphors to describe it--I use it as a metaphor to describe other things, which is a benchmark standard of measurement.

In light of this, I have found Paranoia to be a brilliant social experiment--a psychological test, if you will. I play with my player’s heads. Through subtle rewards and punishments, they are pushed and pulled as I wish. What I say goes; dice conform to my will, since I allow none of my players to know the rules. They think I am there to entertain them, but they are really there to entertain me. Yet, on it’s deepest level I really am there to entertain them--I must know my players intimately, know what they will and won’t enjoy, in order to put forward a beautiful game.

I see many parallels between Paranoia XP and the Domination/Submission lifestyle, as odd as that may sound. The dice are my whip; Friend Computer the chains, but really, the players are in control, as they can choose anytime to stop playing. Torture them too much, and they’ll call out “stop”, the RED (or, to be more appropriate, ULTRAVIOLET) light that stops it all.

"Mr. Bubbles", the mission given in the Core rules, provides an excellent introduction, teaching players about Alpha Complex and how to utilise it. The mission in The Traitor’s Manual,"Down and Out in Alpha Complex", teaches them how to be devious with no weapons. But after that? Sure, you can write your own missions. But doing work for a game that is most often a fun one shot doesn’t sit well with me. It’s harder than it looks to write a good mission, even though I did something decent for the game on this very forum.

Crash Priority is the first mission book for Paranoia XP, detailing five missions. It’s paperback and fairly short. It’s reasonably priced. It’s worth using contact plastic to protect it. The artwork and writing is, as always, fabulous. But these matters are beside the point.

The first mission of the book, done in the Straight style, is called “Stealth Train”, and embodies everything that Paranoia really means. The players are tasked to protect an invisible train that may or may not exist. If I recall correctly, having read the book a while ago, the book doesn’t even decide for the GM if it exists. It’s up to the individual GM to decide. With double cross after double cross, confusion after confusion, "Stealth Train" IS Paranoia. If I were asked to describe a Paranoia mission, "Stealth Train" is the benchmark I would use.

The second mission, "Traitor Backup", is designed to be played as Straight as possible. The opening sequence is indeed dark and scary, much like the flash movie “Smile” I once saw floating around the Internet. But it seems tacked on to the rest of the mission. The rest of the mission, involving serving drinks to clones sentenced to termination, doesn’t work so well. It’s inconsistent with the ever-prevalent termination booths a GM must have suddenly appear when needed. It’s too wild. The military attack therein is well choreographed, but again, too violent and deadly--Straight is about fear, not death so much. Still, the mission is also Paranoia.

If I may digress for a moment, I would like to suggest something: the three styles put forward in the core rules are utter bull. There are not three styles. There are as many styles as there are games. Whenever a group gets together, the mission chosen, the mood of each participant, the ideas currently in their head--these form a new game with a new style. Each mission is Unique. That’s why you can play the same mission with the same players and characters twice and still have fun.

So, is "Traitor Backup" Straight style? As much as anything is.

Let me rephrase that:

Is "Traitor Backup" Straight Style? No. Is anything? Also no.

Is "Traitor Backup" and its more violent, death oriented style still Paranoia? Of course.

Paranoia is about mood. Moods, really. It can be hilariously funny. It can be dark and scary. Usually, it’s somewhere in between. But if the players are backstabbing each other, accusing each other of communism and such, it’s Paranoia.

Correction:

If the players are backstabbing each other, accusing each other of communism and such, and enjoying it, it’s Paranoia.

On "Paranoia Live", the most important Paranoia Web forum, it has been debated to add a "Grim" style, which makes everything Orwellian, removing the Mutant Powers and Secret societies. Straighter than Straight. The main problem is that no-one has been able to figure out how to make it fun.

If you play Grim style and don’t have fun, you’re not playing Paranoia. Paranoia is Fun. To think otherwise is, of course, Treason.

Mission three, much like "Mr. Bubbles", walks the line between Straight and Classic. (A needless distinction, as I said before. Play it how YOU want.) It’s called "Patch Job", and is the most forgettable of all the missions. I say this because I forgot what it is about. Allow me to reread it now…

…. Ah yes. A traitor has done something bad, and the troubleshooters must install a patch. The mission is simply a vehicle for the players to kill each other. Or rather, to have fun killing each other. This is, in fact, pure Paranoia. Exemplary Paranoia. It is Paranoia at it’s finest and simplest and purist.

"Random Access Mission", the fourth Mission, is Classic style. It sees a Communist Virus called T3Tr.1s wreaking havoc. Yes, a pun on Tetris. The main mission plot comes from the absolute confusion. The mission occurs in an unnatural order.

You could never play "Random Access Mission" to introduce Paranoia. Paranoia has its conventions: Briefing, Outfitting, Service Service, Dark Room, Mission, Debriefing. The players know the pattern, they expect it. They expect to get lost finding the briefing room, that’s why it’s so funny when it happens. That’s why they get paranoid when they do find it easily. This mission plays with that structure. Yet, "Random Access Mission" is also an excellent example of quite what Paranoia is about. Confusion and playing around with what the players expect are big parts of any mission, and this mission plays it to a tee.

The final mission is a parody of The Three Stooges, called “Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk”. It even includes the three stooges as player characters. The mission is Zap style, and has no point. The mission writeup isn’t even a description, it’s a suggestion. It doesn’t matter WHAT happens – the players spend an hour shooting each other and throwing pies at each other. The GM makes this funny by having strange things happen and encouraging backstabbing among the players. Yet, this is also Paranoia--not at its purest, but at it’s most basic. Three players. Lasers. Intrigue. Communism. Treason. "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk" is what happens when you leave everything else out.

Oh, the book has three sets of six characters at the back. They’re good and fun and interesting. They’re useful for lazy GMs who don’t want to make their own, or let the players choose. What other GM would buy this book?

Five missions. Each of them being Perfect Paranoia in its own way. It’s a funny game, y’know. Quite a lot of variety, when you think about it. Should you buy it? You probably could have answered that for yourself before reading the review. Are you a GM who needs missions and can afford the book? Exactly.

Discuss it in our forums Buy Paranoia XP: Crash Priority at Amazon

Written by JamPaladin on April 10th, 2005