Three Mindless Webgames II: The Attack of the Webgames

Once again, the TWG returns to give you click-friendly reviews of quality ways to waste your times. In this installment: an old classic returns, some lemmings get a makeover, and you sadists get a chance to weak havoc on an unsuspecting town. Like most webgames, these three aren’t exactly opuses to graphics or playability. However, all three are mildly fun, and should sate your time wasting desires for a few minutes, at least.

Heavy Cannon

www.pogo.com (click on the link at the bottom right of the screen to get to Heavy Cannon--sorry, there doesn’t appear to be a direct link to the game. There are a lot of other games at this site too-you might want to poke around.)

Game Review: 3 clocks

I’ll admit, I first clicked on this link hoping that it would end up being a clone of Heavy Barrel--the old arcade classic. We aren’t so lucky. However, what I did find wasn’t exactly disappointing.

When I was young, foolish, and had an original Atari, I had a couple of favorite games. All were simple by today’s standards, but they led to hours of enjoyment by a mind too young to realize that some games actually had endings. One of these favorite games--the name escapes me--involved a little bunker in the center of the screen, and helicopters that flew overhead. They’d drop paratroopers, and you’d try and shoot them out of the sky. If you missed enough of the troopers, they’d storm your bunker and take you out.

Well, Heavy Cannon is a clone of that game, with some big updates. Now there are missiles that shoot at you, planes that drop power-ups for you, and special ninja paratroopers. The game, however, is still essentially the same. If you’re a classic gamer, this is a cool one to check out.

Roadies

www.bbc.co.uk/choice/games/roadies/

Game Review: 3 clocks

I’d really, really like to give this one a better review. The truth is, it’s an excellent game. It’s a pseudo lemmings clone. It starts off with a bunch of ‘Roadies’ dropping from an opening. You have to guide them to the exit so they can make it to their concert. The idea is to take certain equipment--mostly trampolines of one sort or another--and place them in front of the Roadies, bouncing them around the screen and over obstacles until they reach the exit.

Lemmings is one of my all-time favorite games, and this is an excellent take on the same idea. It’s different enough to be original, but similar enough to capture the same feel. So, why the low rating? One answer: it’s too short.

There are only four levels. And, of course, the first one has to be easy as an introduction. So, there are only three good levels--just enough to make me hunger for more. In addition, the game doesn’t seem as flexible as lemmings was. There aren’t as many different pieces to use, and the terrain is static--you can’t blow it up, or cut through it. You have to jump over it. You also can’t remove pieces once you’ve placed them, which gets annoying.

Still, a good, fun game--especially if you were a fan of Lemmings.

Ant City http://www.bossmonster.com/games/antcity.html

Game Review 2 clocks (But for about a minute, it’s six clocks.)

I almost didn’t review this one, since it’s not really a ‘game.’ His Royal Wastefulness, however, loves it. (Of course, his favorite webcomic is Chopping Block. . .) I do have to admit, for a few brief moments, Ant City is great. If it had a little more variety, it would be wonderful.

So, what is it? You have a giant magnifying glass, and are looking down at a city block below. When you push the mouse button, the magnifying glass focuses sunlight on whatever you point it at. Dogs burst into flames, cars explode. . .you get the idea.

That’s it. You just blow things up. It gets old very quickly, but at first it’s fun. If only there were more things to destroy. . . .

Written by EUOL on September 10th, 2002