The Happening
Overall score: 
Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Betty Buckley.
Written and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
In 1999, a little movie called The Sixth Sense came out of nowhere to wow audiences and critics with its freshness, interesting characters, and mind-blowing twist ending. It became a huge blockbuster, and earned its no-name writer-director, M. Night Shyamalan, two Academy Award Nominations. Everyone agreed this guy was going to be huge. And no one was proclaiming this louder than Shyamalan himself.
Over the years, with the exception of the hit of Signs, which was a solidly entertaining, if scientifically ludicrous, film, we have seen that the Emperor has no clothes. Shyamalan has proven to be Hollywood's least versatile major filmmaker, rehashing the same formula over and over again, with each variation becoming more preposterous and insipid.
For a while, the buzz has been that The Happening, Shyamalan's much touted "First R-Rated Movie," might be his worst yet. But it turns out it's not a matter of where it ranks among Shyamalan's worst movies, but where it ranks among the worst movies of all time.
The story centers around Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg), a math teacher in Princeton, New Jersey, and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel.). Elliot and Alma are having problems. What these problems are exactly, we don't know. We do know that Alma keeps receiving calls from a man named Joey, though she keeps this a secret from Elliot, and that Elliot's fellow teacher and best friend Julian (John Leguizamo), dislikes Alma. In fact, he really dislikes her. Why is never made clear, but between the dialogue and Leguizamo's performance, you get the uncomfortable feeling that Julian suspects Alma may in fact be the Anti-Christ.
All of this "human drama" is interrupted, however, when reports hit the airwaves that mass suicides have been occurring around New York's Central Park. Soon, the hysteria is spreading, and rumors of a terrorist link (toxins being released in the air to cause people to go insane) are being tossed around everywhere. Naturally, Elliot and Alma, along with everyone else, decide to leave the city, because that's what people do in movies. And it's a good thing, too, because soon the phenomenon is happening all over the east coast.
The idea of mass suicides seems like it might be scary, but in Shyamalan's hands, it actually comes across as unintentionally hilarious at times. The methods of suicide become more and more elaborate and morbid, until we see SPOLIER ALERT: televised footage of a man calmly feed himself to lions in a zoo, one arm at a time, walking back a forth to make sure that everybody gets a bite, and no one gets "the lion's share" (rimshot.). This scene plays like something out of Monty Python and The Holy Grail, and it produced howls of laughter from the audience.
The performances are all extremely weak: the always charming Deschanel fares best, but only because she's got that cute and cuddly thing going for her - the characterization of Alma is so odd that her wide-eyed goofiness becomes quite annoying after awhile. But the shock here is Wahlberg - the Academy Award Nominee from The Departed delivers a jaw-droppingly bad performance that plays like a first time actor in a bad student film. This could really damage his career.
On the bright side, there is Betty Buckley, star of the Broadway theater circuit and the second wife of Dick Van Patten on Eight is Enough. Buckley plays Mrs. Jones, a woman that the Moores meet along the way, who allows them to spend the night in her house. Toxins? We don't need no stinking toxins! Mrs. Jones is already off her rocker, and Buckley's resemblance to the old lady who throws cats on "The Simpsons" may entertain some viewers. (In fairness to Buckley, despite all of the over-the-top histrionics, she does delve deeper into her character than anyone else, and one is left with the feeling that in the hands of a more capable director she could have made this character genuinely tragic.)
The idiocy just keeps piling on thicker and thicker, reaching an all time high when Elliot and Alma literally outrun the wind in an attempt to avoid possible toxins. All of this is accompanied by an over-the-top score by James Newton Howard, who is so blatantly borrowing from Bernard Herrman (Hitchcock's composer of choice) that he should be sued. And the final explanation cements the inevitable comparison to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but unfortunately, this is played deadly seriously.
Shyamalan had a hard time shopping this script around after the disaster of Lady in The Water, and we suspect that he will find even further trouble getting work after this film. (though he wastes no time and sticks in a blatant plug for his upcoming big screen adaptation of "Avatar: The Last Air Bender," an event highly anticipated by many people who still live with their parents.)
The Happening is rated R for violence and gore, and some profanity.
Discuss it in our forums.
Written by Patrick & Paul Gibbs on June 19th, 2008
Front Page
RPGs
Movies
Books
Blogs
Tabletop
Video Games
Webcomics
Tower o.C.
CCGs
Other
RSS Feeds