Hackmaster

Overall score:

This is possibly the most interesting RPG on the market today.

Having said that, I must now qualify it. I didn’t say it was the best RPG, or most playable, or most fun, or most usable.

Because I don’t think any of that is true. The concept behind Hackmaster is most easily explained as Advanced Dungeons and Dragons (first edition) on crack and with a lawyer from the IRS breathing down your neck. Hackmaster is indeed the game played by the characters of the Knights of the Dinner Table comic, so it had to resemble D&D, since that’s what they poked the most fun at, but I’m not sure they’ve pulled off a game good enough to get excited about.

To be fair, the insane rule strictures are probably a joke (things like the Gnome Titan’s special "groin stomp" ability and the Chain Mail Bikini of Remote Eye Gouging tipped me off to that), but the sense of humor isn’t communicated throughout the books. It lapses frequently and the reader of the rule books gets nervous that they may in fact be serious… considering that the Hackmaster Players Association (with several bureaucratic cousins) really function and demand the GM oaths of never bending a rule for any reason whatsoever. At any rate, if it is a joke, it’s far, far too expensive. At $40 a pop for the Player’s Handbook and the Game Master Guide, plus $20 for each of the eight volumes of the Hacklopedia of Beasts, you have to have deep pockets for the humor (though the coupons at the back of the book are indeed worthy of many chuckles). If you want to laugh about role playing games, go buy Toon or Paranoia or Ninja Burger or borrow a friend’s copy of Hackmaster.

However, people actually play the game, so let’s look at the system. Frankly, the fact that it’s based on first edition AD&D should really clue you off. If you hated the changes made to third edition, then you may very well love Hackmaster because it makes fun of those changes (right down to the PC usage of the feminine pronoun in examples). You should be aware of exactly how similar Hackmaster is to first edition. It literally is based on it. The weapon speed factors, demi-human level limits, insane level progression structures, and the lot are back. They did simplify the types of classes (Paladins are once again a fighter subclass and Monks are now too), but they added more, like the Knight Errant and the Battle Mage. For the most part, however, if you know AD&D you know Hackmaster, with a few changes.

The first one I want to mention is probably the funniest. Save vs. Apology. Really, that’s quite self explanatory. You have to forgive someone if you fail this save while they’re apologizing. Yes, a funny addition to the game… but is it role playing?

Well, apologies came around because of another addition to the system, one that I actually find very useful and innovative. Hackmaster has a system of honor points based on alignment, which means that evil characters may gain honor for doing things that cause good characters to lose honor. Certain events trigger honor checks, and everyone has an "honor die" which gets bigger the more honor you have. You can add the result of a roll on the honor die to certain other rolls, which means the more honor you have, the better chances you have of getting things done. But if your character can be classified as having "too much honor," watch out, because then the GM will start throwing more monsters at you (he’s required to do so, it’s in the Game Master’s Guide).

Another addition, which seemed to take a joke too far if you look at the game as a real system is the Alignment Tracking Chart. Describing the Gordian knot of calculations and record keeping that this requires would take as much space as the rules themselves take to describe it. So I won’t. It’s far too complicated and time consuming. You almost need an "alignment referee" to keep track of the chart. And it must be kept, or else alignment audits (which seem to be common occurrences, seeing how Paladins and Clerics can perform them frequently) won’t be arbitrary.

However, the skill system works a whole lot better than the proficiency system first and second edition used. Percentages, which are increased by going to school, of all things, are used to determine ability in schools. But this leans back to another problem with the system: the world building.

Hackmaster, like third edition D&D, relies on a world where being an adventurer is a career you take up like any other job. The Battle Mage of Hackmaster is a job just like an accountant in ours (though perhaps a bit more honest and less cutthroat). They conveniently ignore what sort of impact this would really have on the economy, and ignore the ecological impact of wandering monsters in the wilderness and massive tribes of humanoids like orcs and goblins that never seem to get around to doing the damage they really could.

Finally, Kenzerco (the makers of Hackmaster) really could have afforded to hire another proofreader. The spelling and grammar errors are atrocious and frequent. They had a lot of problems in this regard and it comes off as very unprofessional.

Along that line is the chosen spelling of many words. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve wanted to kick in the face for saying "kewl" instead of "cool," but this seems to be the chosen spelling for Hackmaster, as well as Gawds, Dawgs, and Wurld (Garwheeze Wurld is the official campaign setting and has similar restrictions as the system: you aren’t "allowed" to develop campaigns anywhere but specific zones). This spelling choice may be a personal peeve, but there really isn’t any sort of reason for doing it except to annoy potential game reviewers.

For all this, I have become aware that there are several Hackmaster players out there (most of them very rabid). So they must be doing something right. And I have to confess that it seems to be a very fun game so long as you play with the right people. However, the right people have to be very mature, as character death is far from uncommon, and the GMG pits the Game Master as an opponent to the players -- a trait I believe to be very unhealthy to fun role playing. But while they have to be mature, they also have to be willing to be silly (heck if they are willing to fight a Tarantubat Spider they almost have to be downright ridiculous). The bottom line is, if you like a lot of rules without necessarily increasing any sort of realism, you’ll like Hackmaster. And I mean that seriously (I’m thinking of table top war gamers, particularly). They don’t necessarily have any rules to encourage story telling or real character development (though the disadvantages encourage a sort of faux-development). But not everyone plays for that. Hackmaster can be very fun, and the only real reason I can think of to not recommend the system is, as I said before, the cost can be very prohibitive.

Written by SaintEhlers on August 28th, 2002