The Geek Girl's Survival Guide #13: Story Telling

Forgive me, for I am about to wax serious for a moment.

Most of the geeks I know are storytellers of one form or another. I think that’s one of the things that draws us toward geekdom--we have stories brewing inside us that demand to be told.

We geeks are writers, or want to be writers. We are artists and video gamers. We are role players, or heaven forbid, Dungeon Masters. Shift over into the white wolf system and the Dungeon Master becomes, of all things, the Storyteller.

For most of us, story is king. It is the stories that draw us back to these activities time and time again. We revel in acting out stories that others have created--and in discovering the stories we ourselves have to tell.

I like to look at life itself as a story. It’s as if we are each the protagonist of our own little dramatic play, with supporting characters popping in and out with the seasons of our lives. The genre shifts: comedy here, tragedy there, and every now and then a little bit of film noir.

We aren’t exactly our own storytellers, as we don’t have total control over our own circumstances, but we each have control over our own choices within our little one-act play.

I don’t believe in fate. Whenever people tell me that things will work out if they are meant to, I have the sudden urge to throw sharp pointy objects.

Who decides what things are meant to work out? Theological discussions aside, I don’t believe that there is some master plan dictating the ins and outs of our lives.

I believe that we make our own destinies by the choices we make.

We make these choices based on the stories that we tell ourselves.

If we believe that we are the heroes in our own little spheres, then we’ll act heroically. Our stories, therefore, become true. At times we may come to believe that we aren’t heroes after all--that we are the victims of our own little psychodramas, and that we have no control over our circumstances.

With this line of thinking, we’re much less likely to further any sort of plotline.

What frightens me about this notion is that often I tell myself a story that is, in fact, a lie. I tell myself I’m not good enough. I tell myself I’ll never get to where I want to be. I tell myself that even if I did, I wouldn’t deserve to be there.

And I know I’m not alone. I hear similar things come out of my friends mouths.

Nothing angers me more, in fact, than hearing one of my friends utter one of these statements that I so often recite to myself.

No one badmouths my friends. Especially not themselves.

Hypocrite, thy name is Janci.

The point is, if we do indeed act out our lives based on the story we lay out for ourselves, this line of thinking is a sure ticket into the fifth act of any one of Shakespeare’s tragedies.

And we all know how those turn out.

I’m not one to say, “Just think positively and everything will turn out all right.” People who make this comment again make my fingers itch for all things sharp and pointy.

Because sometimes, positive thinking simply isn’t enough. Comments like this can be like a line edit on a manuscript that simply needs to be rewritten; you can think positively all you want, the real problem lies in the story you are telling yourself to begin with.

As a culture of storytellers, we have a singular opportunity. We all know what makes for a good story--a little risk, a little adventure, and a little payoff. And we each have the opportunity to tell a story every day, bit by bit, in the way we live our lives.

Maybe it’s time we each put our money where our mouths are--stopped telling so many stories and started living the stories we want to be living in the first place.

Geek girls, stop waiting for life to happen to you. While you’re waiting, life is happening without you.

You can’t afford to waste time wallowing.

You have stories to tell.

Discuss it in our forums.

Written by MsFish on May 11th, 2006