The Geek Girl's Survival Guide

So, last week I was furious at a friend of mine for saying something totally insensitive. Now, the comment wasn’t made on purpose. But it still bothered me. Why do I subject myself to this? I thought in the middle of my angry tirade. Why hang around with people who are in the habit of speaking before they think, or at least not thinking of the ramifications before they speak.

While still in my tirade, I began to think about all the things that other people I know do that bug me. My boss never gives me enough time to complete projects. Another friend never calls when she says she will, and yet another calls too much and wants to talk for too long. (As my friends read this, each and every one of them is thinking, is this me? Is that what she really thinks of me? I have two things to say to you all. One, that’s what you get for being friends with someone who writes a column. And two, no. It isn’t. I promise.)

Everybody is really, really good at something. Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s interior decorating. Maybe it’s crossword puzzles. If you don’t think you’re amazing at anything, you aren’t looking hard enough.

But, you say, it isn’t really important to be good at crossword puzzles. Crossword puzzles aren’t going to cure cancer or stop the elimination of the ozone-layer from rebel Free-On users. This is true, until you come across a villain who speaks in puzzles, and it’s up to you to decipher the message and save innocent lives.

I’m telling you, it happened to Batman. It could happen to you.

All superheroes didn’t even get important super powers. Sure, Superman had incredible strength and could fly, but I hear there’s also an Antman who could control insects. How useful can that be? I guess you could have a pet hive of bees and send them to sting people, but one exterminator could eliminate your whole line of attack.

How super can your life be if you have to live in fear of bug bombs?

On the other hand, everyone also has things they’re really bad at. I, for example, am completely incapable of doing math in my head. It’s not that I’m stupid (though when I was a cashier customers often thought I was), I just can’t keep track of numbers for longer than three seconds.

Generally, I can’t even tell you my own zip code. Ask me sometime.

I have often said that my super-weakness is my ability to find things in grocery stores. It’s ridiculous. I can spend hours wandering up and down aisles, looking for such elusive items as ketchup, or peanut butter. Is it near the tomatoes or the French fries? The bread or the canned goods? The answer, generally, is neither.

I once lost a friend in the grocery store and had to call her cell phone in order to locate her. Such is the extent of my super-weakness.

Sadly, as I’ve thought about it, this weakness isn’t really a super-weakness at all. It’s a minor, subplot weakness that pales in comparison to my actual super-weaknesses.

My temper, for example. I tend to get angry very, very quickly. I also have the nice sub-power of being able to get over it quickly as well, but it still causes problems for me a lot. I also freak out when I don’t eat--and not in a nice, normal freak out way either. It’s more like the equivalent of swallowing emotional kryptonite.

Not fun.

I have a friend who on occasion makes unintentionally insensitive comments. But what I sometimes forget is that he has a friend who gets irrationally angry at him when he makes said insensitive comments, knowing full well he didn’t mean it. Which is the worse weakness? Who cares. It makes the friendship interesting and dynamic. Weaknesses keep life from becoming boring and stagnate. Without them there would be no plot, no conflict, and no character development.

What I always found most interesting about Superman was Lois Lane’s apparent inability to look past Clark’s glasses and realize who he was. Perhaps this was her super weakness--she was easily distracted by corrective lenses.

So it’s okay that I have super-weaknesses. You do too. But don’t worry, I won’t tell Lex Luthor.

So I’ve decided to be easier on myself, and on other people. (At least, I’ll try. I fully expect my super weakness to get in the way.) And if I have more weaknesses than Superman, that means I won’t have to suffer the same recycled plot over and over. There’s a real super-weakness.

Besides, Superman said some really insensitive things to Lois Lane. And I always thought Clark Kent was the cuter of the two anyway.

Discuss it in our forum.

Written by MsFish on January 05th, 2006