The Geek Girl's Survival Guide #1

Nerd girls, if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been in the closet now for many years. No, not that closet. The one where you stash your dice, your character sheets, and any articles of clothing that might be more appropriate at a Con than a college party.

It appears on the surface that nerd girls are in the minority. Yet, as I’ve emerged from my shell and begun talking to my girl friends about fantasy and roleplaying, I’m amazed at how many of them have been delving into nerd territory on the sly for many years.

They just don’t own up to it in public.

And why not? Why shouldn’t it be socially acceptable for a self-respecting Nerd Girl to walk into a game shop and buy a set of dice?

There comes a day in every Nerd Girl’s life when she has to bite the bullet, take a deep breath, and come out of that closet, cloak and all. After all, you can only lie to your roommates so many times when they ask you what you’re doing on Saturday night.

I’ll never forget the first time I gave my roommate this answer: “I’m roleplaying.”

My roommate blinked at me.

“You’re what?”

“Roleplaying,” I said. “You know, like, Dungeons and Dragons?” It was actually White Wolf’s Orpheus, but I figured I didn’t have a prayer of getting her to understand that.

“Oh,” she said, giving me a long and pitying look. “They’re having a party next door, if you want to come.”

“I can’t,” I said. “I’m roleplaying.”

My roommate let out a long sigh, and then gave me the same advice she’d given when I told her I was working on a sci-fi/fantasy magazine.

“You know, Janci,” she said. “There are a lot of cool people you could hang out with around here. Maybe you should meet some of them.”

Because spending my Saturday night playing speed scrabble could be more entertaining than taking out an army of Spectres and cleaning out a hive. Please.

My roommates weren’t the only ones concerned about my weekend activities. When I told my mother about my new hobby, she said, “The fantasy writing is fun, but the roleplaying is really nerdy.”

Yes, Mother. That’s kind of the point.

When I was in high school I always wondered why I didn’t belong. I guess this is something everyone felt in high school, but when I went to college, the feeling continued. I wasn’t interested in talking about clothes and television. I didn’t really want to spend Friday night seeing the latest chick flick. While everyone else was out drinking, I was in my room, writing my very first novel, which was (heaven forbid) a fantasy.

It wasn’t until my senior year of college, when I enrolled in a fantasy writing class and was forced down to the campus sci-fi magazine (a place I’d always wanted to go, but been too afraid to try) that I discovered the source of my social malaise: I’d been hanging out with the wrong people.

A few months later, I found myself playing Orpheus, on staff at the magazine, and watching Red Dwarf and The Fifth Element on the weekends. I made friends—real friends who didn’t think I was weird for caring more about Brobdingnagian Bards than Avril Lavigne, and more about Dungeons and Dragons than the new trends at Old Navy. More recently I’ve picked up D&D; Munchkin; and Magic, the Gathering.

What my parents would say if they knew.

Most importantly, I found my niche—a place where I fit in and people to share it with. From these people I learned something very important (besides how to role initiative, of course): I am a nerd, and I’m proud of it.

The more I accept my social identity, the more I’m coming to enjoy the looks I get when I tell my managers I can’t work Saturday night.

I’m roleplaying. I’ll say hi to the dragons for you.

And so, for all the Nerd Girls, (and the Nerd Guys who love them), I give you the Nerd Girl’s Survival Guide. Emerge from your closets, girls. Your dice are waiting.

Discuss it in our forums.

Written by MsFish on November 04th, 2005