Page 33, Vol I, # 3

When I was a child, I thought as a child.

I mean, if I'd taken care of those Marvel produced Star Wars comics, they'd be worth something today.

But of course, like all of my toys (I had the Death Star playset, all the support girders were broken, but I had them glued back together, a task I set to several times a month whenever a pillow fight with my brother did what it took a 15 minute battle and a precise torpedo shot for Luke Skywalker to do), they were… well loved.

See, even I used to suffer from Dennis the Menace Syndrome – the perception that comics are toys, rather than a valid form of art or literature. To me, back then, comics were just another toy. I had fun reading them, I could even stretch that time out, but I had a deeper preference for prose or else viewmaster discs.

Things changed a little in high school, when the film release of a live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie prompted the release of four collections of TMNT comics (now colorized). I do still have those, though they aren't in wonderful shape either. However, the passion with which I pursued those heroes in a half shell was probably driven more than an anti-social desire to pursue martial-arts using reptiles than the comic format.

And, my shame is complete when I explain how I actually found myself interested in superheroes and comic books. When I was 21, a retail chain of comic stores opened in the area. Calling themselves Another Universe, they set up shop in malls across the region. The comics were hidden in a back room, but there wasn't anything in the store that you wouldn't find in Joe Shmoe's comic shop today. They had sculpture of Predator, Star Trek T-shirts, roleplaying games, and so forth. It was a fun place to hit, at any rate.

I stopped in one day to check it out, and found myself looking at an ad for DC Versus Marvel, wherein readers would vote for who would win in five title matches, Superman versus Hulk, Batman versus Captain America, Wonder Woman versus Storm, Captain Marvel versus Thor, and Wolverine versus Lobo. (Incidentally, it's interesting to note that DC won more matches than Marvel). I figured this was an opportunity. I had been given a copy of The Death of Superman previously, so it was a comic that would earn money. But here was a comic title that was certain to go up in value, so I bought two copies of each of the 4 issues in the series.

Now, I want to note that I was not wrong. And since I wanted to control my spending and make it a true investment, I was not wrong about the next series I bought either (yes, I have mint copies of the original prints of Kingdom Come) – they have tripled in value. But I was buying comics as an investment. There are a lot of things wrong with that, not the least of which is not realizing that buying new comics is not a very good way to make money with the product.

But … that's like buying art pieces for the value, not how they'll enhance your home. Sure, it'll work if you do it right. It's a pretty stable investment (except that when you really need to unload them will be when you're poor, which means the economy probably isn't doing so well so people won't be as interested – it's hard to liquidate something like that). But you don't love the paintings. You don't love the comics. You're not in it for the art.

That's well and fine, I guess. Though today I sneer at people like that.

See, the narrative style, the bright pictures, the idea of the fact that Aquaman could beat Namor by having a whale jump out of the water and land on him… that woke something in me. The passion for comics. (Yum!)

I recognized the underlying vitality of the genre. Why it has managed to grow in popularity and start crossing genres. There's something elemental about that.

At first I just bought story-arcs. I picked some lame ones (like DC's annual universe spanning crossover, that year titled "Final Night"), but also some good ones – like the death of Ben Reilly.

The cynical and comic-savvy among you will think I mean that because the clone saga is the most controversial story-arc/theme ever in comics. Ever. In the history of mankind. If Spider-Man comics had been around during the first century AD, I'm sure that there would be epistles in the New Testament today condemning it for it's poor story writing. Generally you know something is unquestionably a stretch of suspension of disbelief when people who read Spider-Man each month, and then get on web forums to register their opinions ("Worst. Story Arc. Ever.") have a problem accepting it as plausible. I mean, these are people who accept the idea that a genetic mutation can give you control over weather patterns, that a ring can give you phenomenal cosmic power, and that an radioactive insect won't get cancer, but can bite you and give you superpowers. Right. So when this group refuses to accept something as plausible, it's most certainly going to be far out there, right?

Well, not necessarily. The real problem was that Marvel retroactively re-wrote the whole Spider-Man continuity, seemingly at will, more times than you can shake a stick at it (which also was a major problem with the way the Spider-Man stories were "ended" and restarted in recent years). First there's a clone of Spider-Man. Then it's dead. Then Ben Reilly shows up, and we learn he's a clone. He runs away. Then he comes back to town as the Scarlet Spider. Peter Parker starts losing his powers, so Ben takes over the Spider-Man position for him. Then, just before he dies, Peter regains his powers and it turns out that Ben was the clone behind door number 4 all the time. Along the way there are at least two other, incredibly major clone stories. Neither of these clones appeared to have any of the same powers, so one wonders how they were clones, but that's beside the point. Plus, Aunt May was a clone (no, I am *not* kidding about that, I'll dig out the issue both where she dies and where she comes back, if'n you want – even after the clone saga was OVER it wasn't over. Let the fat lady sing already).

So, yeah, when I say it that way it sounds pretty stupid. The thing is, this is the sort of thing comics live and breathe. This is constant. Come on, a guy fights crime hundreds of years before he's born, but after his grandfather has been dead, but you can't accept clones? But again, it's because Marvel didn't have this all planned. They kept coming up with new stuff, then finally got rid of all the baggage in the course of four weeks and came up with the ending the fans would like best.

But let's get back on target. After buying the four issue "Death of Ben Reilly" story, I started buying all the Spider-Man titles. From that point till they "ended" the story to restart the continuity, I have a complete set of comics. Why, after that stupid, stupid set of events, would I start buying the comics?

Well, several reasons. For starters, there's more to the reading of comics than just the story. However, being a student of literature, we have to acknowledge that I am hardly capable of overlooking that to get a subscription pretty pictures. However, there are more to superheroes than the stories as well. And more than four color, bright, skin-tight costumes. There's nothing about homoeroticism in Superman. It's about the state of the human condition. Frankly, isn't it worth exploring what the reaction of the clone would be? Here he is, he has every memory Peter Parker ever made – he can remember dating Gwen Stacy, and making the mistake that killed her, he can remember marrying Mary Jane. He has amazing powers. But he's no one. He's nothing. He doesn't exist legally. Not even the people he has memories with know who he is. Wow.

Spider-Man is the ultimate expression of reaching beyond yourself. He gets the cool powers, and freedom. Yet it doesn't solve a single one of his problems. If anything, it takes those same problems and makes them worse. He gets beat up constantly, both by bad guys and by the media. The government, even other superherores hunt him down. But he still gets nothing back. But he can never turn away from it. This is someone who represents us at our best. Even more than superman. This is a man who deserves our reverence and admiration.

And that's why I started buying comics wholeheartedly.

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SaintEhlers is the overworked, underpaid, and excessively verbose associate editor of the Time Waster's Guide. He's gamed for 23 years or more, and is trying to convert his 6 year old daughter to the same. He's trying to write several novels, so he's grouchy much of the time. His writing has appeared in the Leading Edge and several online magazines.

Written by SaintEhlers on September 19th, 2005